Here's my last song from my ain to showcase every song from Sarah McLachlan's Fumbling Towards Ecstasy album:Mary.
Mary walks
Down to the water’s edge
And there she hangs her head
To find herself faded
A shadow of what she once was
She said ’how long have I been sleeping
And why do I feel so old
Why do I feel so cold
My heart is saying one thing but my body won’t let go’
Kind of depressing lyrics, not sure what Mary's heart and mind are saying (does she want to jump in the water??) but the main heartache of IF is that the heart and body are not on the same page.
I'm taking the day off from playing summer camp counselor to our teenage guests. DH is taking them up their first 14'er today while I stayed back to go to my U/S appointment.
I have six follicles that the clinic is tracking now:
- 19mm
- 17mm (x 2)
- 16mm
- 14mm
- 13mm
Today is my 6th stim day, and it looked like they were going to have me trigger tonight, but they are having me go another day to try to get the 13 & 14 mm follicles larger. Plus the clinic doesn't like to trigger earlier than day 9 of the cycle (today is day 8). Doc says that the literature says that the eggs need more time to develop. So retreival is officially Wednesday.
E2 is 1622, up from 993 yesterday (Sat) and 546 on Thurs.
I'm happy that I'm getting to go to retreival, and hopeful that the HGH will have a positive impact on embryo quality. I'm also a bit bummed because compared to my last full IVF cycle (back in Oct), there are a lot less follies (I had 18 back then). I feel like I've officially moved over to the oldies group, or the DOR (diminished ovarian reserve) group. It's kind of like when the radio stations start playing your favorite songs from high school on an oldies station, and you realize you're officially not young anymore.
Meanwhile I'm placing an awful lot of hope on these eggies in my belly. Come on, baby eggs, grow well!
