Here's the Cliff Notes version of my story:
Age 31 - In a long-term relationship. Decided to go off birth control because it didn't feel right avoiding conception anymore. After a few years of not trying not to get pregnant, never did. Not disappointed and not really even surprised, as I'd had this funny feeling my whole life that I wouldn't be able to have children anyway.
Age 34 - I met the man (who I'll call GS, short for Good Sport) who would be my husband. He was cool with the no-BC program. He was so cool with it that he talked about having kids, often.
Age 35 - Got married to GS. Had visions of getting prego on my wedding night. Too tired to even try. BUT -- My MOH got pregnant on my wedding night. Or the day before or day after, but I prefer to mentally torture myself and think it was on THE night.
Age 36 - On Jan 1 - Made a resolution to get medical help to get prego. Went to a super nice RE in Tampa, FL (Dr. Welden) that January who had helped out an over-40 friend a few years earlier have twins. Did 4 months of clomid and then one IVF with him. It was challenging, because GS had to work in Melbourne, FL, 3 hours away from our home in Tampa (where I remained), for 7 months because of his stupid company, so one of us had to drive 3 hours across the state of FL to rendezvous on the "right day" each month. Admittedly not the best scenario for TTC.
Lowdown on IVF #1:
- July 7 - retrieved 8 eggs. Doc had moral reasons for fertilizing only as many as patient wants to implant.
- July 12 - 5-day transfer of one blast and one morula.
- July 26 - BFN
Moved to Denver, CO, and went to see Dr. Surrey at CCRM. GS and I had the full battery of tests. Only diagnosis was low blood flow to the uterus, which I'm told could be corrected with (a) acupuncture, and (b) Viagra suppositories. Did IVF. Lowdown on IVF #2:
- Oct 30 - retrieval - 20 eggs, 18 fertilized
- Nov 2 - 3-day transfer of 4 embryos.
- Nov 11 (our anniversary) - first ever + HPT
- Nov 13 - + beta - 57
- next 2 weeks - beta hell - rising LESS THAN 66% every 2 days...on tests 2 & 3. Then it doubled on tests 4 or 5. Just to mess.with.my.brain.
- Nov 30 - u/s showed empty gestational sac
- Dec 14 - D & C
Here's a short list of some of the things I had done to help IVF #2 along:
- Went to the best fertility clinic in the US
- 2x/week electro acupuncture to increase blood flow to my uterus
- Mayan uterine massage (this is done on the belly, btw)
- Hypnosis by a hypnotist that specializes in infertility
- 2x/day meditation
- Weekend painting workshop to attempt to get in touch with my maternal instincts
- Attended not one, but TWO, infertility support groups to get in touch with my feelings
- Started seeing a psychiatrist to discuss infertility and how to think positive
- Avoided sugar, nutrasweet, and non-organic dairy, meats, & veggies
Age 37 - Tossing around the idea of whether and when and where to do IVF #3.
Doc recommends doing a chromosomal test ($2K not covered by insurance) to see if ANY eggs are any good. CCRM has this lovely pay-upfront-and-once-insurance-pays-then-we-pay-you-back policy. I'm still waiting for $4K back. I'd really like to get this money back before giving them any more money. I am so frustrated with the 20+ conversations I've had with their finance dept. that I'm tempted to go to Conceptions instead, even though their stats aren't as good. I did meet one woman at a holiday party who had twins with that clinic with her own eggs at 41. GS thinks I can hyperstim myself with the leftover drugs in the fridge and we can try natural. I don't know about that idea but I suspect it's driven by thoughts of being childless and penniless. Or maybe he just wants my meds shelf freed up in the fridge so it can hold more beer.
